i don’t know why i can’t love you..

my heart hurts today.
why don’t i love anyone.
i love my family.
i love my friends.
i love everything.
but noone to love.
why when i meet new people.
they’re just people.
i don’t get butterflies.
noone gives me butterflies.
i really want butterflies.
i sleep with people searching.
not for butterflies.
for intensity.
the only person i had intensity with was scared.
i was too, i guess.
but you could see it terrified him.
so we said good bye.
and the intensity died.
and every person i feel close to.
i end up just wanting to care for them.
like, its not you its me.
seriously.
i do, just want to be friends.
but then you longer want me around.
and certainly don’t want to be my friend.
i didn’t mean to hurt you.
i’m sorry.

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